Signs You've Been in the Theatre Too Much

1. Your weekend consists of Monday, and only Monday.
2. "Q" is not just a letter.
3. National holidays that fall on Monday seem pointless to you.
4. You know more than one theory for the origin of the name "green room"
5. You can only read from a light that is blue.
6. You consider the red part of the stoplight the "standby."
7. You can't remember what daylight looks like.
8. You can rhyme any sentence anyone utters with a lyric
from Sondheim's "Into the Woods".
9. You call practices for sporting events "rehearsals."
10. You watch the Super Bowl, waiting for "intermission", not half-time.
11. 95% of your wardrobe is black.
12. You tell more stories of what went wrong on shows you've done than
what went smoothly.
13. You start wondering what it feels like to be a prop.
14. You know anything can be fixed with gaff tape, Mortite,
sculpt-er-coat, a sharpie, tie-line, a safety pin or enough staples.
15. You're the only person you know who has never seen "Cats".
16. Your Halloween costume in some way utilizes running blacks and gaff tape.
17. Your Halloween costume brings to mind lines from Shakespeare.
18. You understand the jokes in Forbidden Broadway.
19. You insist on spelling "theatre" with an "re" not an "er".
20. Even while sitting in the audience, you call the left side of the stage "right"
and the right side of the stage "left".
21. Going to a restaurant means ordering and sitting down in McDonald's
rather than going through the drive-thru.
22. You'd heard of Mandy Patinkin before he was on Chicago Hope.
23. "Practical" and "flat" are nouns.
24. Instead of saying that you're leaving, you say you're "exiting."
25. At home, you "strike" your dishes to the kitchen.
26. You "spike" your furniture before vacuuming.
27. If someone asks you what time it is, you respond with something like,
"Half hour 'til half hour."
28. You call text books "scripts" and scripts "the book."